the big one.

March 17, 2011 the big one.

“Are you sad?”

“No, I’m happy.” I reply.

And it’s true, I haven’t been sad for even a single second that Jackson is one year old today. Although I am pretty certain that everyone on earth wants me to feel otherwise. I can’t even count how many people have gotten super sentimental on me lately, pushing their personal perspective in to my brain, trying to reshape my view on a “baby’s” first birthday.

Lets get one thing straight – I love babies. I go crazy for teeny, tiny, helpless newborns. I want to hold them and talk like an idiot to them. I want to dance around in circles and bark like a puppy in their face, all to get a cheap laugh or at the very least, a half smile. But to be honest, the work put in to maintaining a new baby reaps very, very little rewards. I have logged hundreds upon thousands of hours taking care of infants and for what? Nothing! Newborns don’t do anything! I mean, sure, there are some cute moments. Milestones will start happening that can never be replaced. But it’s mostly months and months and months of work.

But then one day the stars align and all that work pays off because you suddenly have a real live person in front of you! Around a month or so ago, I went to get Jack up from a nap, and there he was. Standing up in his crib, staring back at me, cracking up hysterically. I’m talking full-belly-baby-laugh, head back, teeth exposed, tears almost rolling down his cheeks, hysterics. All because he was standing up! And he knew that I was totally shocked over it and that just sent him over the edge! And so began our journey in to the “real person” stage.

I now spend my days with the craziest, funniest, happiest dude that I know. I literally get to see the wheels in his head turning as he figures out how things work and how to communicate with other human beings. And it rules! Because, hey, I totally had a hand in developing this cute creature! (Therefore, I rule?)

When Jackson was born, I was convinced I would never love him more than I did in that very moment. He was so new and quiet – I honestly thought that there wouldn’t be another moment that would be as profound as the first time I held him, snuggled in a hat and blanket, sleeping his first day on earth away. But I was wrong, because last night he started fussing in his sleep, and when I went in his bedroom to calm him down I realized that I loved him one million (maybe even one billion) times more on day 364 than I did on day 1.

And now here we are, day 365.

happy first birthday to you, my love.

Advertisement

• 1 comment
• Posted under Uncategorized